A Guide to Caring for an Elderly Parent at Home

Becoming a carer for an ageing parent is a journey that millions of families navigate. This guide offers practical advice and emotional support for those balancing the rewards and challenges of caring.

Becoming a Carer

Recognising You're a Carer

Many people don't immediately identify as carers. You're a carer if you:

Help a parent with daily tasks like washing or dressing
Manage their medication
Do their shopping, cooking, or housework
Provide emotional support
Coordinate their healthcare
Handle their finances

The Caring Journey

Caring often begins gradually:

Light support – Occasional help with shopping or transport
Regular assistance – Weekly help with household tasks
Significant involvement – Daily personal care and supervision
Full-time caring – Constant presence and comprehensive support

Understanding where you are on this journey helps in planning appropriate support.

Getting Started

Assess the Situation

Take stock of your parent's needs:

Physical needs:

Mobility and fall risk
Personal care requirements
Medical conditions and medications
Nutrition and hydration

Cognitive needs:

Memory and confusion
Decision-making ability
Safety awareness

Emotional needs:

Mood and mental health
Social connections
Sense of purpose

Have the Conversation

Discuss care with your parent:

Choose a calm, private moment
Listen to their wishes and concerns
Be patient if they're resistant
Respect their dignity and autonomy
Involve them in decisions

Tip: Frame the conversation around supporting their independence, not taking it away.

Practical Care Arrangements

Adapting the Home

Simple modifications can improve safety:

Install grab rails in the bathroom
Remove trip hazards (rugs, cables)
Improve lighting, especially on stairs
Consider a stairlift if needed
Install a key safe for emergency access
Set up medication reminders

Daily Routine

Establish helpful routines:

Morning

Check in or help with getting up
Assist with washing and dressing
Prepare or supervise breakfast
Manage morning medications

Daytime

Prepare meals or ensure food is available
Provide company or arrange activities
Attend medical appointments
Help with household tasks

Evening

Prepare evening meal
Manage evening medications
Assist with settling for bed
Ensure home is secure

Managing Medications

Safe medication management:

Keep an up-to-date medication list
Use pill organizers (dosette boxes)
Set alarms for medication times
Store medications safely
Attend medication reviews
Watch for side effects

Getting Support

Formal Care Services

You don't have to do everything yourself:

Home care agencies

Personal care support
Medication assistance
Companionship services
Meal preparation

Day centres

Social activities
Respite for carers
Meals provided
Transport often included

Meals on wheels

Hot meal delivery
Regular well-being check

Professional Health Services

Access available healthcare:

GP: Central point for medical care
District nurses: Home nursing support
Occupational therapists: Home adaptation advice
Physiotherapists: Mobility support
Social workers: Care coordination

Carer's Assessment

You're entitled to a carer's assessment from your local council, which can identify:

Your support needs as a carer
Services to help you
Financial support options
Respite care availability

Contact your local council's adult social care team to request one.

Financial Support

Benefits for Carers

Carer's Allowance

£81.90 per week (2025/26)
Must care 35+ hours per week
Care recipient must receive certain benefits
Earnings limit applies

Carer's Credit

Protects State Pension entitlement
Free National Insurance credits
No earnings limit

Other support

Council tax discount
Carers grants from charities
Local authority support

Benefits for Your Parent

Ensure your parent claims all entitlements:

Attendance Allowance
Pension Credit
Winter Fuel Payment
Cold Weather Payments
Disability Living Allowance/PIP (if under State Pension age)

Looking After Yourself

Preventing Burnout

Caring can be exhausting. Warning signs include:

Constant tiredness
Irritability and mood changes
Social withdrawal
Neglecting your own health
Feeling hopeless or trapped

Self-Care Strategies

Physical health:

Attend your own medical appointments
Get enough sleep
Eat regular, nutritious meals
Take exercise when possible

Emotional health:

Accept that mixed feeling are normal
Talk to someone about your feelings
Join a carers support group
Consider counselling if struggling

Social health:

Stay connected with friends
Maintain hobbies and interests
Accept offers of help
Take breaks when possible

Respite Care

Regular breaks are essential. Options include:

Day centre attendance for your parent
Respite care in a care home
Sitting services
Family members sharing care
Volunteer befriending services

When Caring Becomes Too Much

Recognising Limits

It's okay to acknowledge that home caring has limits. Consider alternatives if:

Your parent's needs exceed what you can safely provide
Your own health is seriously affected
Risk of falls or accidents is high
Night-time care is regularly needed
Specialist dementia or nursing care is required

Transitioning to Professional Care

If the time comes to consider a care home:

Start researching options early
Visit potential homes together if possible
Involve your parent in decisions
Remember that you're not failing – you're ensuring proper care

Sharing the Load

Involving Siblings

Fair distribution of caring:

Hold a family meeting to discuss care needs
Allocate tasks based on abilities and availability
Communicate regularly
Avoid keeping score
Accept that contributions may vary

Professional Care Alongside Family Care

A blended approach often works best:

Use professional carers for personal care
Family provides emotional support and coordination
Specialists manage medical needs
Shared responsibility reduces burnout

Frequently Asked Questions

Conclusion

Caring for an elderly parent is one of the most meaningful things you can do, but it's also one of the most challenging. Remember that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You're not alone on this journey.

Need support as a carer? Find respite care in your area, or explore our resources for carers.